Issue Date: April 8, 2007
April marks Sexual Assault Awareness Month, highlighting an issue that may be more relevant than many parents realize. A recent study finds that 57% of teens know a teen who has been in a verbally, physically or sexually abusive relationship. Equally alarming: Girls ages 16 to 24 are most likely to be victims of relationship abuse, a federal report shows.
Abusive relationships cross all socioeconomic boundaries, so even if you think, "Not my daughter," be alert for signs of trouble. Does her boyfriend demand exclusive attention? Is your daughter isolating herself from friends and family? Does she seem depressed? Do she and her boyfriend engage in a cycle of fighting and making up?
Girls ages 16 to 24 are most likely to be the victims of abusive relationships.
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If you're worried, proceed gently. Don't forbid your daughter to see him; she might only reject you and draw closer to him. Stress that you're on her side, that you love her, and then try to figure out what she finds attractive about the boy and how she really feels when they're together. Help her to understand that fear, isolation and guilt are not components of a healthy relationship.
If she admits that she wants to break up with him but is afraid, have her rehearse a script and encourage her to break up in a public place. You don't want her to be alone in the following weeks, so be sure her pals are around.
And talk to your child's school about hosting an assembly with the teen-run group Teens Experiencing Abusive Relationships (for more info, see teensagainstabuse.org).
Ann Pleshette Murphy is ABC's "Good Morning America" parenting expert and author of "The 7 Stages of Motherhood."
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Debit card do's
A card with a logo offers more protection.
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For the first time last year, debit card transactions topped credit card sales. A debit card can be a great way to help you decrease debt by paying for items right away instead of charging what you really can't afford. But you also need to be careful to avoid some of the pitfalls pointed out by a Consumer Reports study. Some tips:
Get a card with a MasterCard or Visa logo. You're liable for up to $50 if you report your lost debit card within two days of discovering it's gone. After that, your liability increases to $500. After 60 days, you could be liable for the entire balance. In contrast, credit cards only hold you liable for a maximum of $50. Both MasterCard and Visa have extended this policy to debit cards with their logos.
Always opt for a PIN transaction when you're given a choice. It's much safer to punch in your personal identification number than it is to sign a credit card receipt. In fact, Boston-based firm Dove Consulting found that transactions using a PIN are 15 times more secure than those requiring a signature. Restaurants often require a signature, but there are many retailers that will allow you to use a PIN.
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Get public library databases
Access hundreds of databases, for free, from home.
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Next week is National Library Week, so what better time to celebrate your tech-savvy public library than by tapping into its collections -- from home. Many of the nation's public libraries offer free online access to hundreds of databases, and often, all you need is a computer and a library card.
ProQuest CSA is one of the libraries' largest suppliers of these e-resources. Making a family tree? Head to your library website and check out ProQuest Obituaries or HeritageQuest Online. Tracking down some details on an old movie? Go to Film Indexes Online or the American Film Institute Catalog.
As American Library Association President Leslie Burger says, you can't always trust Google for accurate searches, but you can trust your library.
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Milk cancels power of tea
Keep it simple: Take your tea without milk to maximize health benefits.
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Whether it's health-smart to put milk in your tea, as the British do, long has been a scientific question with no firm answer -- until now.
A new, more definitive study shows that adding milk to your black tea reduces its powers to promote better blood flow and vascular health. German researchers gave 16 healthy women either boiled water or black brewed tea with and without skim milk, and then, two hours later, used ultrasound to measure the function of an artery in their arms. The result: Blood flow improved after drinking tea, but not when milk was added.
So we now know that it's smart to drink your tea without milk.
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